When education fails – The obsession for high grades – By Nisaar Nadiadwala

There are three surah in the Qur’an which are named after insects, Surah Nahl, ch 16, Surah  Naml ch 27, and Surah Ankaboot, ch 29. Each insect has a special quality regarding striving without giving up, which we must learn from them. None of them give up.

Note, how many times the honey comb is emptied by men ! Everytime it is filled by the efforts of bees who swarm whole day in fields and farms to collect few drops of honey, men take away leaving the honey comb  like an haunted hoUse. 

Note, how many time an ant falls down of a wall while carrying small grains of food !

Note, how many times the house of a spider is wiped away by our brooms ! The Qur’an testifies that  the web of a spider is the weakest of all the houses.

Inspite of all the efforts of these half inched, or smaller than that, insects  go in waiste yet they never undergo any depression nor commit suicides losing away all hopes. Each of these insects have stronger immune system than man when it comes to failure. Compare it with our responses in a faiure. If you misplace your motor car’s key and can’t find out when it is getting late, how do you respond? Many of us will be irritated or behave rudely, some even spit out obscene words!

  Consider this : Your young daughter is getting trained in the  kitchen and  she misses to lookout when the milk was boiling. You get irritated. Your son has got just few marks less than last exams but you cannot tolerate that loss too. All around us we see impatient behaviour. One of the main reasons for traffic jams in the streets of India and Pakistan is that people cannot  wait for green signals even  for a few seconds. Our life style has become impatient. Success is the only thing we look for.

  Indian surveys report that : 45% of people comitting suicide in India are between 15 to 29 years of age. This was in 2007. In 2010 India lost around 2 hundred thousands ( 2,00,000) of its population to suicide. Almost half of them were between 15 to 29 ! ( Gujarat Samachar Sunday, 15 Nov 2013, Mumbai edition)

  Mahatma Gandhi failed as a Barrister and could not even get a job of a teacher. That man uprooted entire British Empire from the Indian subcontinent.

  It took a Prophet of the calibre of Mohammed, peace be upon him, more than two decades to establish the supremacy of Islam on the Arabian land. Prophet Noah carried and tarried his duty till 950 years. Ibn Umar took many years to complete just the study the tafseer of Surah al Baqarah. These men never underwent depression.

  Our education system burries the children under the mountains of books and syllabus and this further is added with more burden of hopes and expectations of grades.  If you study a cat teaching its kitten how to catch a mouse, you willnotice that many a times the kitten misses the punch of its claws and the mouse escapes. The mother cat doesnt slap its kitten , it goes hungry without that hunt but the teaching goes on.  We cannot give a second chance to our kids if they perform better instead of best. This is not how we shoullld teach. That cat has not done any Bachelors in Education, but it knows how to teach its kitten.

Our education system only talks about acheiving grades and super grades. Nothing less is accepted. So we have a generation of Academic brilliants but not pyschologically strong educated graduates. We have graduates and post graduates who are still frustrated because  of not reaching their dreams. After all education is not only about producing graduates and post graduates but it should be about graduating one’s  enduring system and patience in efforts. Those few insects and that cat mentioned above have never been to schools but when it comes to facing crises they are more educated than our best products from World class Universities.

  Author Nisaar Nadiadwala can be responded at nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com

The Autumn that appears as a Spring…Before you Fall in Love – Nisaar Nadiadwala

If you are an  average looking girl, a boy from your class or neighbour, will appreciate you a lot. The dictionaries of human relations call it ‘flattery’, artifical praise. If the boy is smart in talking he will pass innocent coments with a mishceivious flavour to draw your attention.  In the world of cheaters it is called ‘flirting’. Millions of girls across the world , have slipped into these pits and found it difficlut to come out . They discover that those roses were thorns in disguise.

Why should you fall in love?  What will you get after exchanging your heart in return of  pain?

In seclusion, as well in crowd, you will be  living with sighs like a crazy insane. You will feel lonely even in a gathering, just thinking about him. Trodding on such dreamy  paths  , you rarely reach your dream palace. A Broken heart, a  shattered dream,   a feeling  of betrayal,  and self condemnation as an award for your folly await for you.

How many expectaions from him ! How many late nights ! How many long waits poking tireless messages ! It will be too late when  you realise that these walls are not of bricks but sands  and can crumble even with  a puff.

Then one day he will say ” Pardon  me ! I will pray for you that you get a better boy than me. You see my Mom is not agreeing to our relations and I cannot disobey my mother because it is a sin ” Your dream castle was made up of sand.  It will be like someone has pushed you down into a lonely valley with nobody to share your agony. One day you may discover that he is into another affair. You are replaced by another prettier girl. Now you will look into the mirror and aks your self ” was I really as beautiful as he praised me earlier?”  The reply of your mirror will give you an extreme inferiority complex about your looks.

The pain of heart cannot be understood by others around you. No thermometers can give you the temperature nor can any cardiology test can inform the world what pain a broken heart undergoes. When the next spring arrives, it will bring nostalgia and  only warm tears, wasting your time, wasting your life in memories of your EX-DEAR.

You may call him ungrateful, untrustworthy and curse him for days but  weren’t you ungrateful  and untrustworthy when you quitely slipped out with him without your parent’s approval or knowledge, and they kept on thinking that your are extremly modest. Were you not wrong when you secretly messaged him romantic messages and remained busy chatting with him when your poor mother needed you in domestic help?

Dont forget that every one cannot get the  Moon but if you observe self restrain then Allah may give you soon. If you love the world for your beloved then you may loose your akhera. But if You love Sabr over sins then it is the promise of Allah that you cherish. The choice is yours.. Remember ” Allah intends easiness upon you, He does not intend  to put you into difficulties..( Surah al Baqarah verse 185 )

 

Nisaar Nadiadwala  can be responded at nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com

Some of the awesome ways to reduce your tension towards your fatness, ugliness and baldness!

Read on to know…
Question : Assalamualaikum. My daughter is a tall and a broad girl. She is also dark and heavy. It is difficult to get a groom. My relatives insist that she must grow thin and trim herself. She says ” I am as Allah has made me ! ” She refuses to burden herself by under-going starvation. She finds the criticism by her relatives too bitter to digest. Can you please throw some light on it ?

Walaikumus-Salam..The definition of beauty has changed after the advent of fancy dolls like Cinderellas, Barbie Dolls, Film actresses and some critics among our selves. Otherwise before that, a woman was graded on her capacity to run the house. How talented was she in the kitchen. How good is she in building relations with her inlaws etc. Today, she is graded by her shapes and looks, how much she earns and how educated is she ? This is feminism today ! Today’s feminism is more of Masculinity or macho-ism.

I agree with your daughter’s resistance to bow before cultural demands. She is right when she says ” I am as Allah has made me ” It is difficult to shed a few kilos from your body and it is more difficult to keep that lost weight away. It may return back. The problem is not with your daughter but the problem is with your relatives too. Why should they demoralize a young girl who has no fault of her in shaping her looks ? Instead of that, they should rather assure her of good and look for a suitable match for her. An overwhelming majority of girls fall in the category of below average looking girl if you use the the Barbies and Cinderellas as parameter. Should they remain unmarried ?

I tell you, it is difficult to get a good boy even if your daughter is fair tall and slim. The reason ? Then she too will need a boy too rich or high in status and an independent house. The reason? Because there are critics and the advisers around you to assure you of a good boy because your daughter is beautiful! . Marrying your daughter to a rich and a boy with a good status is not enough to guarantee a happiness. Happiness is a life long effort. Fatima the daughter of Prophet (pbuh) was happy with her poor husband Ali r.a. Her hard life made her among those few women whose faith was a complete faith. A girl married to a rich boy can also be unhappy and a girl married to an average earning boy can also be happy. A boy marrying a girl with average looks or below average looks can also be happy and keep her family happy. This does not mean that one should over look the financial position in totto. NO. It is essential to earn halal but do not chase richness too much.

The best option is to empower our girls with a positive attitude towards their looks and shapes and assure them of a happy life and encourage them to be Grateful to Allah for what He has given them. Let them not run in rat race of slim and fairness…

Nisaar Nadiadwala can be responded at nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com