Some of the awesome ways to reduce your tension towards your fatness, ugliness and baldness!

Read on to know…
Question : Assalamualaikum. My daughter is a tall and a broad girl. She is also dark and heavy. It is difficult to get a groom. My relatives insist that she must grow thin and trim herself. She says ” I am as Allah has made me ! ” She refuses to burden herself by under-going starvation. She finds the criticism by her relatives too bitter to digest. Can you please throw some light on it ?

Walaikumus-Salam..The definition of beauty has changed after the advent of fancy dolls like Cinderellas, Barbie Dolls, Film actresses and some critics among our selves. Otherwise before that, a woman was graded on her capacity to run the house. How talented was she in the kitchen. How good is she in building relations with her inlaws etc. Today, she is graded by her shapes and looks, how much she earns and how educated is she ? This is feminism today ! Today’s feminism is more of Masculinity or macho-ism.

I agree with your daughter’s resistance toΒ bow before cultural demands. She is right when she says ” I am as Allah has made me ” It is difficult to shed a few kilos from your body and it is more difficult to keep that lost weight away. It may return back. The problem is not with your daughter but the problem is with your relatives too. Why should they demoralize a young girl who has no fault of her in shaping her looks ? Instead of that, they should rather assure her of good and look for a suitable match for her. An overwhelming majority of girls fall in the category of below average looking girl if you use the the Barbies and Cinderellas as parameter. Should they remain unmarried ?

I tell you, it is difficult to get a good boy even if your daughter is fair tall and slim. The reason ? Then she too will need a boy too rich or high in status and an independent house. The reason? Because there are critics and the advisers around you to assure you of a good boy because your daughter is beautiful! . Marrying your daughter to a rich and a boy with a good status is not enough to guarantee a happiness. Happiness is a life long effort. Fatima the daughter of Prophet (pbuh) was happy with her poor husband Ali r.a. Her hard life made her among those few women whose faith was a complete faith. A girl married to a rich boy can also be unhappy and a girl married to an average earning boy can also be happy. A boy marrying a girl with average looks or below average looks can also be happy and keep her family happy. This does not mean that one should over look the financial position in totto. NO. It is essential to earn halal but do not chase richness too much.

The best option is to empower our girls with a positive attitude towards their looks and shapes and assure them of a happy life and encourage them to be Grateful to Allah for what He has given them. Let them not run in rat race of slim and fairness…

Nisaar Nadiadwala can be responded at


9 thoughts on “Some of the awesome ways to reduce your tension towards your fatness, ugliness and baldness!

  1. excellent article…..i wonder how can we change other people’s perceptions and attitudes towards the issue…

    the image…. luv it! πŸ™‚

    • May Allah reward Br Nisaar Nadiadwala for such excellent writings and the benefit it brings.
      Changing ourselves is the first step. Inspiring others (slowly) in the second πŸ™‚

  2. I disagree with this article. Yes, girls should be taught to value them as Allah has made them,ugliness and beauty should not be judged by the standards of models and dolls, or by becoming stick-thin figures. But keeping yourself healthy and fit is not included in that. Our body is an amanah from Allah and we should take care of our health. Obesity and being overweight is the root cause of many diseases. And even though we have been encouraged to look for wives who are pious yet the Prophet S.A.W. advised to take a look at the potential spouse before marriage to ensure physical attractiveness. And if a man doesn’t feel attracted towards a heavy/broad woman we cant judge him for not choosing the girl as his wife. We must not forget that the primary reason of marriage is to avoid sins and not to show talents in the kitchen or building relations with the in-laws, those are secondary merits. And the wife is also required to look pleasing and attractive for her husband which includes keeping the weight down.
    And Im not a guy, Im a girl.

    • aoawrwb.

      No. You didn’t disaree. You actuallyl agreed to the idea after the first sentence.

      Ukhti, the point what this article is trying to explain is about the high standards of beauty our society has laid for marriage proposals to be acceptable. And it is very nicely explained in it.

      However, yes, Islam lays great importance on the maintaining the body which is ofcourse an amanah from Allah SWT. Consdering the fact I am married, this is extremely important between the couples to stay as healthy, beautiful and lovely as possible for each other.

      The article doesn’t negate the fact you’ve mentioned.

      Secondly, the household duties, relation with in laws and upbringing of children are not secondary, rather primiary duties of a married woman. Which, if not completed, creates problems in the marriage and hence create problems in the following the commandments of Allah SWT.

      As muslims we must realize the importance of a healthy body and its maintainance. So ukhti, don’t be reactive. Your comment only draws attention towards another aspect of the same issue, rather negate it.

      Living in this Sheikh facebook and Imaam google age, we right, “I disagree with this article/point/idea” has become very easy and we do not pay attention to what we really are speaking/writing.

      May Allah guide us all. Jazakillah for your input ukhti. It was valuable.

      • Waalikum assalam wr wb
        That’s good, lets see what he says too, inshaAllah. The article is written in such a way that it seems to defend the girl and support her idea of not losing weight. The article even specifically states that losing weight and maintaining it can be difficult task and hence it is discouraging young ladies from the task.
        With the facts you pointed out now, I would say that you’re right and I don’t disagree with the article, however I would say (with all due respect to the writer, I have read many good articles by the writer and I hold high respect for him) that this article is poorly written. The idea and point of the article is valid, but it should have been laid out in a better manner and it should have pointed out the facts which you did.
        You’re right that it’s a Facebook and Google age, and hence we need to be even more careful in posting about our religion because opponents are on the watch to find even the smallest of faults and errors in us and our deen, and don’t let the tiniest opportunity to attack. So we need to present the deen in the best manner, inshaAllah, may Allah grant us the taufeeq to do so, Aameen.
        Wa jazakallah khyr wa barakallahu feek

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