19 amazing fatherhood lessons for YOU!

As Muslims we often hear the virtues of being a mother and the benefits that kids bring to them. While discussing it, fatherhood is often ignored and motherhood is what is emphasized. So, I decided to compile a list of some lessons that I’ve learnt of fatherhood that children bring with them. All the fathers-to-be and new fathers will find it beneficial insha’Allah and should try to fill in the necessary gaps proactively for the better future of their children!

So once you’re a father, you’ll find the following things happenings:

  1. Your love for your spouse has deepened
  2. You have to take responsibility of not only your own action but also your family’s
  3. You have to choose baby’s sleep time to get some rest. He is too small to follow your routine
  4. Even if you start following your infant’s sleep cycle, you have to strive hard to get a better sleep 😛
  5. Now you starts feeling older 
  6. You have multiple jobs now. One that is outside your house, earning money for the family, and the other with your cute little angel at home
  7. The unique feeling you get when your baby looks at you and smiles
  8. You realize the hardship that your parents have gone through, skipped sleep, enjoyed cramps in their biceps carrying you at nights for sleep, declining all the fun with friends because they were busy with you.
  9. Time passes too quickly. You angel’s birth feels moments ago
  10. Technically, you have lesser time to spend with you spouse, but quality of that time is increased Alhamdulillah
  11. Most of the time you’re busy in nurturing your kid, either physically, or spiritually by talking to your wife about his upbringing, values and character
  12. You are future oriented. You think proactively
  13. You are planning your child’s schooling according to Islamic values and planning for him to become a Hafiz and Qaari of Al-Furqan (the differentiator between the right and the wrong, another name of Qur’an)
  14. You start seeing life as an opportunity to shape up a human being, to inspire a complete nation (through his progeny) to become Allah’s slave and you and your wife becoming the leaders of Muttaqoon yourself
  15. You find it difficult to manage your relationship with your wife, why because now she has two babies to handle, you and your baby! She’s fragile so handle with care 😉
  16. Your wife loves you even more, for helping her out in the baby chores, makes du’aa for you, and prays for you to stay with him till the end
  17. All your childish, immature and irresponsible behavior is gone. You have to be a DAD now and you need to be responsible. Expect your kid to be exactly like you
  18. You are more concerned about savings now, because living in an expensive era, its important when it comes to good education and Islamic nurturing of your kids
  19. Now you‘re remembering Allah SWT and his commandments more. You have a journey to walk with you family. Your journey back to home, to Jannah!

Alhamdulillah I have found my experience to be life changing. Do you find yours? Please share more lessons with me so that I can learn even more 🙂

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The writer is a software engineer and can be contacted at zakiimtiaz1@gmail.com

The Autumn that appears as a Spring…Before you Fall in Love – Nisaar Nadiadwala

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If you are an  average looking girl, a boy from your class or neighbour, will appreciate you a lot. The dictionaries of human relations call it ‘flattery’, artifical praise. If the boy is smart in talking he will pass innocent coments with a mishceivious flavour to draw your attention.  In the world of cheaters it is called ‘flirting’. Millions of girls across the world , have slipped into these pits and found it difficlut to come out . They discover that those roses were thorns in disguise.

Why should you fall in love?  What will you get after exchanging your heart in return of  pain?

In seclusion, as well in crowd, you will be  living with sighs like a crazy insane. You will feel lonely even in a gathering, just thinking about him. Trodding on such dreamy  paths  , you rarely reach your dream palace. A Broken heart, a  shattered dream,   a feeling  of betrayal,  and self condemnation as an award for your folly await for you.

How many expectaions from him ! How many late nights ! How many long waits poking tireless messages ! It will be too late when  you realise that these walls are not of bricks but sands  and can crumble even with  a puff.

Then one day he will say ” Pardon  me ! I will pray for you that you get a better boy than me. You see my Mom is not agreeing to our relations and I cannot disobey my mother because it is a sin ” Your dream castle was made up of sand.  It will be like someone has pushed you down into a lonely valley with nobody to share your agony. One day you may discover that he is into another affair. You are replaced by another prettier girl. Now you will look into the mirror and aks your self ” was I really as beautiful as he praised me earlier?”  The reply of your mirror will give you an extreme inferiority complex about your looks.

The pain of heart cannot be understood by others around you. No thermometers can give you the temperature nor can any cardiology test can inform the world what pain a broken heart undergoes. When the next spring arrives, it will bring nostalgia and  only warm tears, wasting your time, wasting your life in memories of your EX-DEAR.

You may call him ungrateful, untrustworthy and curse him for days but  weren’t you ungrateful  and untrustworthy when you quitely slipped out with him without your parent’s approval or knowledge, and they kept on thinking that your are extremly modest. Were you not wrong when you secretly messaged him romantic messages and remained busy chatting with him when your poor mother needed you in domestic help?

Dont forget that every one cannot get the  Moon but if you observe self restrain then Allah may give you soon. If you love the world for your beloved then you may loose your akhera. But if You love Sabr over sins then it is the promise of Allah that you cherish. The choice is yours.. Remember ” Allah intends easiness upon you, He does not intend  to put you into difficulties..( Surah al Baqarah verse 185 )

 

Nisaar Nadiadwala  can be responded at nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com