Never losing the hope… – By Fareed Ahmed

The arabic word for sadness or grief is “Gham” – derived from the word “Ghaamama (the cloud) ” . Although there`s no apparent relationship between sadness and cloud, however there`s a hidden one. Just like a cloud blocks all the sun-shine coming down to earth, sadness or grief in a way or other also acts as a stumbling block for a man`s positive energy and performance.

It is very natural that when a person is happy and everything is going according to his whims and desires, his own wishful thinking, his performance is at it`s peak, but when he is tested or a calamity strikes him, he becomes pessimistic and isn`t able to give a good performance.
The real test lies in giving a good performance despite being in stress and crisis, despite failing in exams over and over again, despite having a fight with the fellow colleague or losing the beloved ones.

Click the link to continue…

Never losing the hope….

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19 amazing fatherhood lessons for YOU!

As Muslims we often hear the virtues of being a mother and the benefits that kids bring to them. While discussing it, fatherhood is often ignored and motherhood is what is emphasized. So, I decided to compile a list of some lessons that I’ve learnt of fatherhood that children bring with them. All the fathers-to-be and new fathers will find it beneficial insha’Allah and should try to fill in the necessary gaps proactively for the better future of their children!

So once you’re a father, you’ll find the following things happenings:

  1. Your love for your spouse has deepened
  2. You have to take responsibility of not only your own action but also your family’s
  3. You have to choose baby’s sleep time to get some rest. He is too small to follow your routine
  4. Even if you start following your infant’s sleep cycle, you have to strive hard to get a better sleep 😛
  5. Now you starts feeling older 
  6. You have multiple jobs now. One that is outside your house, earning money for the family, and the other with your cute little angel at home
  7. The unique feeling you get when your baby looks at you and smiles
  8. You realize the hardship that your parents have gone through, skipped sleep, enjoyed cramps in their biceps carrying you at nights for sleep, declining all the fun with friends because they were busy with you.
  9. Time passes too quickly. You angel’s birth feels moments ago
  10. Technically, you have lesser time to spend with you spouse, but quality of that time is increased Alhamdulillah
  11. Most of the time you’re busy in nurturing your kid, either physically, or spiritually by talking to your wife about his upbringing, values and character
  12. You are future oriented. You think proactively
  13. You are planning your child’s schooling according to Islamic values and planning for him to become a Hafiz and Qaari of Al-Furqan (the differentiator between the right and the wrong, another name of Qur’an)
  14. You start seeing life as an opportunity to shape up a human being, to inspire a complete nation (through his progeny) to become Allah’s slave and you and your wife becoming the leaders of Muttaqoon yourself
  15. You find it difficult to manage your relationship with your wife, why because now she has two babies to handle, you and your baby! She’s fragile so handle with care 😉
  16. Your wife loves you even more, for helping her out in the baby chores, makes du’aa for you, and prays for you to stay with him till the end
  17. All your childish, immature and irresponsible behavior is gone. You have to be a DAD now and you need to be responsible. Expect your kid to be exactly like you
  18. You are more concerned about savings now, because living in an expensive era, its important when it comes to good education and Islamic nurturing of your kids
  19. Now you‘re remembering Allah SWT and his commandments more. You have a journey to walk with you family. Your journey back to home, to Jannah!

Alhamdulillah I have found my experience to be life changing. Do you find yours? Please share more lessons with me so that I can learn even more 🙂

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The writer is a software engineer and can be contacted at zakiimtiaz1@gmail.com

Enough reason to believe in…

It was like a gigantic wave of blood, gushing in my aorta when I came close to him for the first time. I couldn’t resist the appeal to hold him close, embrace him against my chest, feel the raw aroma coming out of his body. I was feeling a unique warmth in both of us. It was like a long awaited love. A love that kindled even more when we met each other. His charming face was itself a testimony for every little second of our wait, of our meeting. The touch of his hands was soft enough to melt my own heart as i fell in love with him at that very moment.

The feelings of compassion, security, tranquility, care and tenderness; all amalgamated into a single red colored flower of love, filling the room with its scent. Had any one in this world the power to sneak into my heart, he would certainly see a garden in there.

“SubhanAllah”, “Walhamdulillah” I acclaimed, as I saw my little angel baby boy, Ibrahim.

The birth of Ibrahim had been a real journey for I and my wife. He made us realize that he should be a reason enough for us to believe in the oneness, the ultimate perfection, the power of the creation of One God, Allah, Exalted be He far above from what people associate with Him falsely. Only after becoming a father do I really understand the depth of ayah (verses) of Quran in which Allah explains the matter of creation. The mind wonders on the reality a human being, his ego and his pride when Allah says:

قَالَ لَهُ صَاحِبُهُ وَهُوَ يُحَاوِرُهُ أَكَفَرْتَ بِالَّذِي خَلَقَكَ مِن تُرَابٍ ثُمَّ مِن نُّطْفَةٍ ثُمَّ سَوَّاكَ رَجُلًا

His companion said to him while he was conversing with him, “Have you disbelieved in He who created you from dust and then from a sperm-drop and then proportioned you [as] a man?
Surah Kahf 18:37

‘No, by my Lord, I do not. All praise is for You, I believe in You what You’ve shown me’. In 9 months, Allah showed us all the different stages of a human baby before coming into this matrix, how Allah SWT creates the organs inside the belly of a woman, in many folds, taken care off, given oxygen, food and utmost care from the mother. Despite her weakness, she pours herself in only for her baby. Allah designs the awesome systems of the baby body and bestows intellect inside his grey matter. Do you see, there was nothing but sperms and then Allah fashioned a complete human out of it, subhanAllah. This is the incomparable perfection of Allah, yet man invokes others besides Him.

I could remember the hadith with I heard Ibrahim crying for the first time,

Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (sallallhu alaihi wassalam) as saying:
No child is born but he is pricked by the Satan and he begins to weep because of the pricking of the Satan except the son of Mary (Eesa AS) and his mother (Maryam AS). Abu Huraira then said: You may recite if you so like (the verse):

” I seek Thy protection for her and her offspring against Satan the accursed” [Ale-Imran: ayah 36] [1]

Invoking Allah in my heart to protect him from the evil whispers of Satan the accursed, and asking Him from His bounties for him, I smiled at my wife, waiting for him to grow up, be a Hafiz and Qaari of Qur’an and become a sadqa e jariya for his parents. Ameen.

The question is whats in there for you in my experience. Well, I’ve learnt a few things and if you choose to benefit, stay tuned for the next artcile, insha’Allah 🙂

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[1] Sahih Muslim 2366 a, http://sunnah.com/muslim/43/191
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The writer is a software engineer and can be contacted at zakiimtiaz1@gmail.com

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Praying behind Imam Masjid e Nabvi sallahu alaihi wassalam

Yesterday night I had a wonderful, once in a lifetime opportunity in my own city,  Lahore, to pray behind the imam of the mosque of our beloved Prophet Muhammad. May Allah’s peace and blessings be on him. The shuyook from Saudia were invited at jamiaah Bait ul Ateeq, near Wanda town, which is a branch of Lahore Institute for social sciences and Islamic Institute,  Barkat market, Lahore.

Alhamdulillah it was so nice to hear the same iqamah that is pronounced in masjid e Nabvi and then quite different tarteel of the sheikh himself.  Never could have I prayed that prayer except imagining myself standing in the prayer hall of masjid e Nabvi and praying with all my focus, communicating with my Lord, asking for guidance for the straight path, from the One Who listens wherever we are. SubhanAllah

I am a regular visitor of the place and it’s a huge mosque as well as facility for local scholars, libararies and authentic Islamic education. Never in my lifetime I found it so crowded that it was hard to find a place to sit. Not even in Ramadhan. People were standing, waiting for shuyook to come, representing their love for masjid e Nabvi and the Nabi himself, masha’Allah. The loveliest thing to see was the unity of Muslims behind one imam just like in Makkah and Madinah.

It was though disappointing to watch when people tried to grab the sheikh from his hands and clothes, a shear disagreement for the act was clearly seen on his face. There was mismanagement of the overall event, but it doesn’t matter, as long as our hearts were to come close together in the mosque to see a man who has been honoured by Allah SWT to be the imam of the beloved Prophet’s mosque.

It was a long wait before everyone could stand in rows for the prayer at around 9:20 PM. The prayer began with the familiar iqamah of masjid e Nabvi and the imam recited the beautiful 7 oft repeated ayah of Surah al Fatiha). Last 10 ayah of Surah Ale Imran were recited in parts in both rakah. I wonder why did the imam chose them for such an event. SubhanAllah, it not only reflects his hikmah but also reflects his dawah to us; those ayah serving as reminder for us to be among those who reflect on the signs of Allah in the alterations of days and nights and who remember their Lord standing and sitting.  (translation coming at the end)

It was also supposed to be an event kind of thing later on as arrangements could be seen. Probably where speeches were to be given by the shuyook. Although I left as soon as the prayer finished.

My experience was great and so was blessed, Alhamdulillah Rab il Alamin . All is His praise who gave me this opportunity. May Allah give us opportunity and Tawfeeq to actually go to the blessed Kabah and Masjid e Nabvi to really pray there,  to get the ultimate reward from Allah SWT with Tawheed in our hearts and love and taqwa of Allah and love of being with Rasul Allah in Jannah. Say Ameen. 

image

(the only picture I could find)

I’ll end with a brief translation of Surah Ale Imran last 10 ayah,  serving as a reminder and to ponder deducting as many lessons as we may.

[More translation help available at http://quran.com/3/190-200%5D

3:190
إِنَّ فِي خَلْقِ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ وَاخْتِلَافِ اللَّيْلِ وَالنَّهَارِ لَآيَاتٍ لِّأُولِي الْأَلْبَابِ

Verily! In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and in the alternation of night and day, there are indeed signs for men of understanding.

3:191
الَّذِينَ يَذْكُرُونَ اللَّهَ قِيَامًا وَقُعُودًا وَعَلَىٰ جُنُوبِهِمْ وَيَتَفَكَّرُونَ فِي خَلْقِ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ رَبَّنَا مَا خَلَقْتَ هَٰذَا بَاطِلًا سُبْحَانَكَ فَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّارِ

Those who remember Allah (always, and in prayers) standing, sitting, and lying down on their sides, and think deeply about the creation of the heavens and the earth, (saying): “Our Lord! You have not created (all) this without purpose, glory to You! (Exalted be You above all that they associate with You as partners). Give us salvation from the torment of the Fire.

3:192
رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ مَن تُدْخِلِ النَّارَ فَقَدْ أَخْزَيْتَهُ ۖ وَمَا لِلظَّالِمِينَ مِنْ أَنصَارٍ

“Our Lord! Verily, whom You admit to the Fire, indeed, You have disgraced him, and never will the Zalimun (polytheists and wrong-doers) find any helpers.

3:193
رَّبَّنَا إِنَّنَا سَمِعْنَا مُنَادِيًا يُنَادِي لِلْإِيمَانِ أَنْ آمِنُوا بِرَبِّكُمْ فَآمَنَّا ۚ رَبَّنَا فَاغْفِرْ لَنَا ذُنُوبَنَا وَكَفِّرْ عَنَّا سَيِّئَاتِنَا وَتَوَفَّنَا مَعَ الْأَبْرَارِ

“Our Lord! Verily, we have heard the call of one (Muhammad SAW) calling to Faith: ‘Believe in your Lord,’ and we have believed. Our Lord! Forgive us our sins and remit from us our evil deeds, and make us die in the state of righteousness along with Al-Abrar (those who are obedient to Allah and follow strictly His Orders).

3:194
رَبَّنَا وَآتِنَا مَا وَعَدتَّنَا عَلَىٰ رُسُلِكَ وَلَا تُخْزِنَا يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ ۗ إِنَّكَ لَا تُخْلِفُ الْمِيعَادَ

“Our Lord! Grant us what You promised unto us through Your Messengers and disgrace us not on the Day of Resurrection, for You never break (Your) Promise.”

3:195
فَاسْتَجَابَ لَهُمْ رَبُّهُمْ أَنِّي لَا أُضِيعُ عَمَلَ عَامِلٍ مِّنكُم مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَىٰ ۖ بَعْضُكُم مِّن بَعْضٍ ۖ فَالَّذِينَ هَاجَرُوا وَأُخْرِجُوا مِن دِيَارِهِمْ وَأُوذُوا فِي سَبِيلِي وَقَاتَلُوا وَقُتِلُوا لَأُكَفِّرَنَّ عَنْهُمْ سَيِّئَاتِهِمْ وَلَأُدْخِلَنَّهُمْ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِن تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ ثَوَابًا مِّنْ عِندِ اللَّهِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ عِندَهُ حُسْنُ الثَّوَابِ

So their Lord accepted of them (their supplication and answered them), “Never will I allow to be lost the work of any of you, be he male or female. You are (members) one of another, so those who emigrated and were driven out from their homes, and suffered harm in My Cause, and who fought, and were killed (in My Cause), verily, I will remit from them their evil deeds and admit them into Gardens under which rivers flow (in Paradise); a reward from Allah, and with Allah is the best of rewards.”

3:196
لَا يَغُرَّنَّكَ تَقَلُّبُ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا فِي الْبِلَادِ

Let not the free disposal (and affluence) of the disbelievers throughout the land deceive you.

3:197
مَتَاعٌ قَلِيلٌ ثُمَّ مَأْوَاهُمْ جَهَنَّمُ ۚ وَبِئْسَ الْمِهَادُ

A brief enjoyment; then, their ultimate abode is Hell; and worst indeed is that place for rest.

3:198
لَٰكِنِ الَّذِينَ اتَّقَوْا رَبَّهُمْ لَهُمْ جَنَّاتٌ تَجْرِي مِن تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا نُزُلًا مِّنْ عِندِ اللَّهِ ۗ وَمَا عِندَ اللَّهِ خَيْرٌ لِّلْأَبْرَارِ

But, for those who fear their Lord, are Gardens under which rivers flow (in Paradise); therein are they to dwell (for ever), an entertainment from Allah; and that which is with Allah is the Best for Al-Abrar (those who are obedient to Allah and follow strictly His Orders).

3:199
وَإِنَّ مِنْ أَهْلِ الْكِتَابِ لَمَن يُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَمَا أُنزِلَ إِلَيْكُمْ وَمَا أُنزِلَ إِلَيْهِمْ خَاشِعِينَ لِلَّهِ لَا يَشْتَرُونَ بِآيَاتِ اللَّهِ ثَمَنًا قَلِيلًا ۗ أُولَٰئِكَ لَهُمْ أَجْرُهُمْ عِندَ رَبِّهِمْ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ سَرِيعُ الْحِسَابِ

And there are, certainly, among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians), those who believe in Allah and in that which has been revealed to you, and in that which has been revealed to them, humbling themselves before Allah. They do not sell the Verses of Allah for a little price, for them is a reward with their Lord. Surely, Allah is Swift in account.

3:200
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اصْبِرُوا وَصَابِرُوا وَرَابِطُوا وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

O you who believe! Endure and be more patient (than your enemy), and guard your territory by stationing army units permanently at the places from where the enemy can attack you, and fear Allah, so that you may be successful.

Understanding the Key Ingredient – Sister Hajrah

If you ever ask any person, no matter where he comes from, what does he think of good health and strength, he will definitely say that they are a blessing and a gift. However, the truth is that they are a blessing only when accompanied by a key ingredient. Without that they are a curse. Read on to find out what that key ingredient is and how does its accompaniment affect one’s health and strength.

يهب الله الصحة والقوة مع رحمته فإذا هي نعمة وحياة طيبة، والتذاذ بالحياة، ويمسك رحمته فإذا الصحة والقوة بلاء يسلطه الله على الصحيح القوي، فينفق الصحة والقوة فيما يحطم الجسم، ويفسد الروح، ويدخر السوء ليوم الحساب

[Roughly translated:] When Allah gives health and strength accompanied by His mercy, then it is a blessing and (gives) a pure life, and he gets pleasure from life. And when He holds His mercy, then the health and strength are a calamity, Allah inflicts it upon the healthy and strong. So he spends his health and strength in that which smashes the body and corrupts the spirit and gathers evil for the Day of reckoning.

Continue reading here…Understanding the Key Ingredient.

Upper hand is better than the lower hand – Ramadhan Food Project 2013

Alhamdulillah, by the Grace of Allah Subhanahuwataalah, Youth Club Lahore took part in three social projects in 2012, namely:

       Ramadhan Food Project

       Clothes Distribution in sponsorship of Young Muslimah Project KSA

       Dhul Hijjah Qurbani and Food distribution

Ramadhan Food Project
In the early days of Ramadan, the YCL team purchased various food items and commodities including rice, sugar, pulses, dates, tea leaves, etc., from the supermarket ‘Metro’ in Model Town, Lahore, and collected sacks of flour from a charitable lady in Mustafa Town, before setting off for Kasur where the deserving families resided.

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The selection of the target homes was made after scrutiny; people who were needy yet did not resort to begging. Their living standards were extremely deplorable. Families had very few supplies to help them last the month. Their houses usually had a single stove in an open-air kitchen, the only place where they could cook food, and only fortunate families had a hand pump to provide them with water.

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Alhamdulillah, the supplies were distributed and those families were sustained throughout Ramadan.A total sum of around PKR 200,000 was spent in this project, and by the Grace of the Almighty it was a success, helping bring smiles to the faces of people who had probably not eaten to their fill for a long time.

See more pictures on the YCL page here: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.410494059000045.85692.239400962776023&type=3

Clothes Distribution in sponsorship of Young Muslimah Project KSA
In association with The Young Muslimah Project, Youth Club distributed over 500 clothes to people from the areas affected by floods.

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The team traveled across 1250 kilometers, to Sindh and Balochistan, giving out clothes.

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Their houses were totally wrecked by the floods, and they had to live under the open sky with hardly any provisions to sustain them.

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Alhamdulillah these donations were given out to the right people.

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Impact Analysis:

 

 

impact analysis 1 impact analysis 2

Our humble request

This year Youth Club Lahore team has targeted over 75 poor families within Lahore, which includes widows, orphans, unemployed and needy people, etc., that have no source of income at all.

Last year the families that were contacted did not call again to ask for provisions this year. This is the sign of true ‘masakeen’, people who do not resort to seeking help from others. We made sure that we reach “safaid-posh” people.

Help support this cause, keeping these Ahadith well in mind:

The Prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) said: ‘Whoever gives iftaar to one who is fasting will have a reward like his, without that detracting from the fasting person’s reward in the slightest.’ [Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 807, Saheeh]

A man asked the Prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam), ‘What sort of deeds or (what qualities of) Islam are good?’ The Prophet (Sallallahu ‘Alaihi Wasallam) replied, ‘To feed (the poor) and greet those whom you know and those whom you do not know.’ [Sahih al-Bukhari, 12]

For individual list and costing please see https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Avkb36ZZ5v2MdERrTmt0SGFzNGo0M2Vqd0h0NE0zN2c&usp=sharing

You may donate money, or any of these items:

Sr. No.

Item Name

Item options

Quantity

Price

Optional price

1

Ghee Dalda 10*60*950

114000

2

Sugar Shakar gangh 10*60*60

36000

 

Khuli cheeni 10*60*55

33000

3

Rice Guard 10*60*185

111000

Zarafa 10*60*165

99000

4

Flour Kisan 4*60*480

115200

 

Punjab 4*60*370

88800

5

Lemon max long bar 3*60*32

5760

6

Dettol bath soap 3*60*45

8100

7

Tea leaves Lipton 1*60*435

26100

 

Supreme 1*60*370

22200

8

Dal mash Kisan 2*60*160

19200

9

Dal chana Kisan 2*60*80

9600

10

Jame sheerin 1*60*500

30000

11

Dates 2*60*250

30000

12

Baisen Kisan 2*60*85

10200

14

transportation

30000

15

Eidi 60*3000

180000

Total Cost

682860

Please donate with all your heart. In shaa’Allah this charity will weigh heavily in your favor on the Day when there will be nothing to vouch for you ‘except’ your deeds.

Account number: 01161198701
Title: Zaki Imtiaz
Bank: Standard Chartered, Johar Town, Lahore.
Branch code: 0021
Swift Code: SCBLPKKXLHR

Follow updates about this project at facebook.com/page.z.imtiaz

For any queries, contact us:

Zaki Imtiaz: 0323-9555521

Umair Abid Shah: 0333-5551597

zakiimtiaz1@gmail.com

Disclaimer: The purpose of sharing these stats and the effort done by our team is not to brag about the achievements of Youth Club. In fact, it is to bring to your notice that it is not politics, votes or leadership, but the individual efforts of all of us that are required to bring the much needed change in our societies. Every tiny little effort counts. If all of us take out just a small portion of our annual savings for those less privileged than us, in shaa’Allah we will lay the foundation for building more stable and healthier societies built on love, trust and compassion.

Something we all dream of seeing, every single day of our lives.

JAZAKUMULLAH KHAIR!

(may Allah grant you all goodness)

To a Young man (ایک نوجوان کے نام)

Aik naujawan k naam – Bal-e-Jibrael

[Translation given below]

Your sofas are from Europe, your carpets from Iran;
This slothful opulence evokes my sigh of pity.

In vain if you possess Khusroe’s imperial pomp,
If you do not possess prowess or contentment.

Seek not thy joy or greatness in the glitter of Western life,
For in contentment lies a Muslim’s joy and greatness.

When an eagle’s spirit awakens in youthful hearts,
It sees its luminous goal beyond the starry heavens.

Despair not, for despair is the decline of knowledge and gnosis:
The Hope of a Believer is among the confidants of God.

Thy abode is not on the dome of a royal palace;
You are an eagle and should live on the rocks of mountains.

http://iqbalurdu.blogspot.com/2011/04/bal-e-jibril-139-aik-naujawan-ke-naam.html

 

A Cup of Coffee on the Wall

Forwarded as an email by a sister. 

I sat with my friend in a well-known coffee shop in a neighboring town of Venice, the city of lights and water. As we enjoyed our coffee, a man entered and sat on an empty table beside us. He called the waiter and placed his order saying, ‘Two cups of coffee, one of them there on the wall.’ We heard this order with rather interest and observed that he was served with one cup of coffee but he paid for two. As soon as he left, the waiter pasted a piece of paper on the wall saying ‘A Cup of Coffee’.

 

While we were still there, two other men entered and ordered three cups of coffee, two on the table and one on the wall. They had two cups of coffee but paid for three and left. This time also, the waiter did the same; he pasted a piece of paper on the wall saying, ‘A Cup of Coffee’.

 

It seemed that this gesture was a norm at this place. However, it was something unique and perplexing for us. Since we had nothing to do with the matter, we finished our coffee, paid the bill and left.


After a few days, we again had a chance to go to this coffee shop. While we were enjoying our coffee, a man entered. The way this man was dressed did not match the standard nor the atmosphere of this coffee shop. Poverty was evident from the looks on his face. As he seated himself, he looked at the wall and said, one cup of coffee from the wall. The waiter served coffee to this man with the customary respect and dignity.  The man had his coffee and left without paying. We were amazed to watch all this when the waiter took off a piece of paper from the wall and threw it in the dust bin. Now it was no surprise for us – the matter was very clear. The great respect for the needy shown by the inhabitants of this town welled up our eyes with tears.


Coffee is not a need of our society neither a necessity of life for us. The point to note is that when we take pleasure in any blessing, maybe we also need to think about those people who appreciate that specific blessing as much as we do but they cannot afford to have it.

Note the character of this waiter, who is playing a consistent and generous role to get the communication going between the affording and the needy with a smile on his face.

 

Ponder upon this man in need….he enters the coffee shop without having to lower his self-esteem…he has no need to ask for a free cup of coffee…without asking or knowing about the one who is giving this cup of coffee to him…he only looked at the wall, placed an order for himself, enjoyed his coffee and left.

When we analyze this story, along with the other characters, we need to remember the role played by the wall that reflects the generosity and care of the dwellers of this town.

Coffee cup

Coffee cup (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

What is the right age to get married?

Disclaimer: The following article is based on my limited knowledge and opinion. I may not be 100% correct. You have the right to disagree and are welcome to present your better understanding insha’Allah 🙂


Today at lunch time, I had a small discussion with two of my friends. An answer to the question, “What is the right age to get married?”

It depends. The time is when a combination of some qualities and some resources are achieved in life. Some achieve them in their early 20’s and some don’t seem to achieve them even in their late 30’s.

For me the most important factors are two:

Maturity and livelihood; themeans to provide for the basic necessities of your family. And both of these terms are ambiguous and require some explanation.

(1) Maturity: I personally think maturity is not just being physically mature, or being able to grow a beard, having all the necessary hormones to get things done. Maturity is a state of mind. A state in which you know the realities of life that it is difficult and not just fun. A state when you are able to differentiate between right and wrong, when you can reason things according to the basic realities and not your own personally created paradigms and myths. It is when you are big enough to create your own principles based on true facts and figures. Verily the most correct way is the way of the Quran.

Allah says in the Quran,

هَٰذَا بَيَانٌ لِّلنَّاسِ وَهُدًى وَمَوْعِظَةٌ لِّلْمُتَّقِينَ

Translation Dr. Muhsin Khan

This (the Quran) is a plain statement for mankind, a guidance and instruction to those who are Al-Muttaqun (the pious – see V.2:2).

[Surah Ale-Imran 3: 138]
(2) Livelihood: The other matter is related to your and your family’s livelihood. One need to have an appropriate amount of income to be able to provide the five basic necessities of one’s partner (In case of men, they are responsible to provide for their families and women are not responsible for livelihood in Islam). They are:
(1) food
(2) clothes
(3) shelter
(4) medicine
(5) education.
If you have a room in your house, you can feed yourself and your wife with two chapaties three times a day, you can provide her enough clothes necessary to be able to cover her satr and some extra for occasions like Eid, Ramadan, Friday, Wedding, when you can take her to the doctor when she is ill and when she knows how to take care of your house and children, you have all the required resources. You don’t need anything else, technically.
Isn’t it simple enough? Why make it complex when it is not? Allah SWT has made the relationship of Nikah (marriage) a Rahmah. Allah SWT says in the Quran in

وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ

Translation Dr. Muhsin Khan

And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.

[ Surah Ar-Rum 30: ayah 21]

هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ ۗ

Translation Dr. Muhsin Khan

They are Libas [i.e. body cover, or screen, or Sakan, (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with her – as in Verse 7:189) Tafsir At-Tabari],for you and you are the same for them.
[Surah Al-baqarah 2: ayah 187]

اللَّهُ لَطِيفٌ بِعِبَادِهِ يَرْزُقُ مَن يَشَاءُ ۖ وَهُوَ الْقَوِيُّ الْعَزِيزُ

Translation Dr. Muhsin Khan

Allah is very Gracious and Kind to His slaves. He gives provisions to whom He wills. And He is the All-Strong, the All-Mighty.

[Surah Ash-Shuraa 42: ayah 19]

Prophetic guidelines with respect to marriage

There are two narrations worth mentioning here. They would suffice to explain what is therein insha’Allah 🙂

What to do when you want to marry?

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدَانُ، عَنْ أَبِي حَمْزَةَ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، عَنْ عَلْقَمَةَ، قَالَ بَيْنَا أَنَا أَمْشِي، مَعَ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ فَقَالَ كُنَّا مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ ‏ “‏ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ، فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ، وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ، فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ ‏”‏‏.‏

Narrated ‘Alqama:

While I was walking with `Abdullah he said, “We were in the company of the Prophet and he said, ‘He who can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him refrain from looking at other women, and save his private parts from committing illegal sexual relation; and he who cannot afford to marry is advised to fast, as fasting will diminish his sexual power.”

How will you know who is the right person for you?
حَدَّثَنَا زُهَيْرُ بْنُ حَرْبٍ، وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْمُثَنَّى، وَعُبَيْدُ اللَّهِ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، قَالُوا حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى، بْنُ سَعِيدٍ عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ، أَخْبَرَنِي سَعِيدُ بْنُ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ ‏ “‏ تُنْكَحُ الْمَرْأَةُ لأَرْبَعٍ لِمَالِهَا وَلِحَسَبِهَا وَلِجَمَالِهَا وَلِدِينِهَا فَاظْفَرْ بِذَاتِ الدِّينِ تَرِبَتْ يَدَاكَ ‏”‏ ‏.

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:

A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status. her beauty and her religion, so try to get one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust.
May Allah make ease for all the unmarried brothers in their marriage.

 رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

Your brother in Islam,
Zaki Imtiaz

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The writer majors in Software Engineering and is an amateur blogger and photographer. He may be contacted at zakiimtiaz1@gmail.com.

Choose wisely; Begin with end in mind

إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يُغَيِّرُ مَا بِقَوْمٍ حَتَّىٰ يُغَيِّرُوا مَا بِأَنفُسِهِمْ
Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.

The concept of two creations

Everything is created twice. The first creation determines how the second creation would be. For example when you construct a house, you do not right away jump into physical construction and start with bricks, cement and other required material. You make a mental model first. A blueprint that envelopes each and every detail of the house that IS TO BE constructed.

The width and length of rooms, the the overall design, the paints, the woodwork and everything else is planned before you start the physical construction. Its planning is the first creation, while the physical construction is the second. One has to “begin with end in mind” (first creation) before proceeding to the actual work. What I am trying to stress is that first creation holds the utmost importance.

The concept of two creations is  present in our everyday life too. It effects our behavior, the reactions we show, the choices we make, our priorities, etcetera. First creation is always there; consciously or unconsciously. In order to be the creator yourself, you need to begin with the end in mind.

What kind of individual you be want to be?

  • Kind hearted?
  • Helping?
  • Soft spoken?
  • Intelligent?
  • Hard worker?
  • Spiritual?
  • Rich?

What kind of organization do you want your organization to be?

  • Customer centered?
  • That keeps the environment clean?
  • That retain employees?
  • The produces quality products?
  • That runs in minimum budget?

You have to DETERMINE YOUR TYPE.

The type you choose today, determines the choices you make to fulfil the requirements for that type. The type you choose today, determines the output. For you to control the output, you need to choose your type consciously, a conscious first creation. If you do not choose consciously, the environment, the people, the society, the culture, friends and family will choose for you. The first creation is always there but in that case, you will not be able to control it.

Some of you might think that efficient and required output is related to the management style. Such people are never able to come out of this management paradigm. To understand it as a whole, consider a wood processing company that cut trees from jungle and process them for further use. The responsibility of the management would envelope tasks like monitoring rate of trees being cut, targets being met, appraisals and necessary actions to keep the work going. While all of that is going on, one wise employee of the company climbs a tree and when he reaches the top he realizes that they are in the wrong jungle. They are cutting the wrong type of trees.

He tells the management that its the wrong jungle but the management don’t  pay heed as they are caught within the management paradigm where everything is going just fine. The management is not concerned with the type of trees, they are just interested to keep the numbers going. The wise man shows some leadership but is actually ignored.

Management is doing the things right while leadership is doing the right things. Management is climbing up the stairs while leadership determines whether it is right staircase. Without leadership qualities, without determining the necessary direction, one cannot be one’s own first creator. 

Begin with end in mind and Islam

These principles have been deduced by Islamic teachings of the concept of Hereafter. Quran tells us that all our deeds are being recorded in a book that would be given to us to read on the day of judgment (17:14, 69:19, 69:25 and various other places) according to which the human beings will be blessed in Jannah or will be punished in Hell fire. Islam teaches us to be proactive of our deeds throughout the Makan Quran and keep watch on what we send forward with our hands. That is the reason why earlier Muslim societies climbed the highest mountains of success in this world and became the most educated and modern societies of that time.

Our deeds are our first creation, on which our destination will be determined. If we want to control the output, we need to make appropriate choices today.

The underlying values are far more important then mere management of your affairs with regards to anything and they cannot be grasped without proactivity. If you want to control the output, simply recript yourself. Make your decision right away and you’ll find doors to success whereever you may be.

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The writer majors in Software Engineering and is an amateur blogger and photographer. He may be contacted at zakiimtiaz1@gmail.com.